In this discussion I will generalize the effects of shattered intimacy concerning friendship. Further discourse on this subject could range from mental, sexual, financial, and emotional. We will save that for another time. Intimacy is closeness, familiarity, warmness, and affection. Humans have an innate need to form intimate and long-lasting relationships. intimacy includes the ability to assume one needs just as important as your own. If this is interrupted, the communion is broken: friendship and trust is jeopardized, companionship is disrupted, comradeship is faltered, and alliance is waivered. The Lord is intimate with His children. Worship is intimate and culminates into a covenant relationship with God. James 2:23 tells us that the Lord calls us friend. Intimacy of a friend is displayed in the Old Testament 1 Samuel.
1 Samuel 18:1- 4 KJV “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David , and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, would let him go no more home to his father’s house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the rove that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.”
Although Saul, because of jealousy and envy breached the intimacy, his son Jonathan refused to alienate his relationship with David. Jonathan would not allow his relationship with David to be breached. He loved David and became his adjutant. Here in the same chapter, Saul was influenced by the enemy. Verse 9 says that he eyed David from that day and forward. He made 21 attempts to kill David before he was killed himself. Isn’t it amazing what jealousy will manifest in the heart?
In addition to jealousy, trauma (physical/emotional), addiction, self-esteem, and infidelity all contribute to pain. And pain disturbs intimacy. When you have been hit a couple of times, it is hard to smile over pain and act as though it doesn’t hurt. A gut-punch can take your breath away and knock you off of your feet. I would like to know who is like the Bozo Bob Bag? You know the bean bag from the 70-/80s–every time someone hits the bag, it pops back up, and the harder it is hit, the faster it pops back. It takes faith and tenacity to grin over pain.
David prayed to God in Psalm 55:12-14. This scripture represents one of the deepest hurts in betrayal by a seemingly spiritual companion. Ahithophel (2 Samuel 15: 12, 31; 16:23). David’s son Absalom committed treason and revolted against his father. Ahithopel, the brother of folly instigated it. Just like David, Joseph and other Old Testament greats, although painful, the faith of God will carry us through painful circumstances.
Moreover, when loyalty is breached in a marriage the rib is broken. The rib represents the union between husband and wife; it is quite difficult to breath with a broken rib. Discord opens doors for disharmony and spiritual death. When harmony is interrupted, the fibers of the union are damaged. Although desire can return, the healing and forgiveness process will take time. Some have difficulty overcoming such transgression; thereby, divorce is inevitable. Conversely, if we could allow forgiveness to truly be our portion, more marriages would survive and overcome such betrayal.
Nevertheless, despite the breach, you can overcome and live a life of tranquility. Whether you are the victor or the victim, forgive, so that the enemy will no longer have power over you—release the victim and victor. Satan who is an accuser of the brethren will never get a chance to claim you as arrested psychological development (refusing to grow in God), but you shall move forward in the synchronized shift of the Lord.Posted by Tarran Carter