Divorce within Christian marriages is a hot subject. The official ending of a marriage or distinguishing a marital relationship by separation destroys the fibers of the family. I am a product of divorce–my mom and dad divorced when I was in college and regardless of my age, it was still devastating. Divorce affects not just you and your husband, but it also affects the children and other family members, which the effects can be long-term.
In recent years, divorce among Christians is high. It appears that religion no longer has an affect on divorce. I have often asked:
Does anyone, especially Christian couples, marry for better or worse anymore?
Is anyone staying together until death do they part?
Is love and marriage only based on condition and circumstance?
Frequently, media reports that 50% of American marriages will end in divorce. Although the information may be skimpy data, it appears reasonable close to probably value. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimate that “Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue,” we know that this is only a projection and a prediction.
According to Dr. Tom Ellis, chairman of Southern Baptist Convention’s Council, said that for “…born-again Christian couples who marry… in the church after having received premarital counseling…and attended church regularly and pray daily together.. experience only 1 divorce out of nearly 39,000 marriages— or 0.00356 percent.” This clearly indicates that godly council does work and relationship with God is essential.
Alfred Addler once said, “We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a “getaway.” We cannot love and be limited.”
Marriage is work–it is the building of a lovely institution and learning the dynamics of what marriage involves and takes for it to endure. On the wedding day, vows were taken and some did agreed to love each other regardless of circumstance, and not rely on an excuse for a quick getaway. But because many have opted for the easy way out, there is no conviction of filing for divorce. There is no conviction about forgiveness or even compromising. However, if Christians would not lean-to their own understanding or take bad advice from others, but acknowledge God in all their ways and trust Him to work it out, most marriages would endure.
I have spiritually counseled women and suggested to many that another women cannot not tell you what to do in your marriage. Every marriage is different, every man is different, and some of us don‘t give all the facts. However, through prayer and seeking God and the Holy Spirit, you will be guided into truth that will enable you to make the right decision.
If we truly study the Bible, we know that going to church or saying you are a born-again Christian will not guarantee that your marriage is gong to stay together. It is going to take tenacity, patience, prayer, giving, and communication to bring it together as one–Echad and with harmony.
Ultimately, we make the decision regardless of the circumstance to make it work or move on. Nevertheless, whatever the decision, forgiveness is a must in order for you to move forward–staying with your spouse or moving on. Forgiveness will make you free from the abuse, offence, etc. Those who just cannot make it work, forgiveness enables you to start a new without bringing the baggage with you.
In closing, I don’t want to forget about the children. It is the enemies plot to destroy the family and leave devastating long-term effects on our children… we must continue to pray for the right answer.
We should all want to be in covenant with God for our family and ourselves–it is the covering over the family. I have listed a covenant prayer on the: Warfare Prayer Page
If you would like to see statistics on divorce among Christians go to: Echad Marriage & Family Page
Reference Notes: The hyperlinks are not necessarily still active today for Barna org, see other website listed. “Christians are more likely to experience divorce than are non-Christians,” Barna Research Group, 1999-DEC-21, at: http://www.barna.org/ Barna no longer has this report online. However, a review of the report is at: http://www.adherents.com/